Just over a year ago I left a product leadership position at Monzo to take a bit of a step into the unknown. Today I’m a product leadership coach and the co-founder of LEAD - a cohort based leadership accelerator for startups.
There was, of course, a transition between those two versions of myself. And we all know that a transition looks slicker and more thought through on the outside than on the inside. The reality is that transitions are hard and a bit messy. I learnt a lot from others sharing honest stories about their own transitions. So I’m writing with that in mind. That hopefully by sharing more about my transition, it will help others on a similar journey.
Let’s start with the before
18 months ago I was working as a product leader at Monzo, a fast growing fintech scaleup in the UK with over $1B in funding.
My time at Monzo was really significant in my career. It involved both the most personal growth and the most responsibility of any role I’ve had. When people talk about rocket ships, that metaphor resonates. I joined with one direct report and ended up less than 18 months later in the CPO position in the midst of a pandemic, redundancies and a change of CEO.
I had a lot of ambition and that was matched, at Monzo, with a lot of people that supported me and encouraged me and gave me big opportunities. I loved my job - the product, the people and the challenge.
I seemed to have an endless amount of resilience, energy and motivation to get through some incredibly hard weeks and difficult decisions until I just suddenly ran out. I felt that I was in the exact place that I wanted to be until I suddenly just wasn’t.
The messy middle
I had a moment, and it was an actual moment, when I got back from a two week holiday where I realised that something had changed. I didn’t feel ok with the sacrifices that I was making for this role. My time was mapped out in 15 min intervals from the moment I woke up until about 7pm. I didn’t sleep well. Work was on my mind, even when I wasn’t working.
This was not a beautiful enlightening moment. It was a really hard moment. Realising that what you’re doing doesn’t feel right, but what you’re doing is what you’ve been working towards for a long time. Years and years. I tried to convince myself that I could make this work, my manager and mentors offered lots of options. But (fortunately or unfortunately 😅) I’ve never been good at convincing myself to do something that doesn’t feel right.
I decided to leave Monzo and handed in my notice shortly after. I’m grateful for everyone at Monzo. My manager, friends and mentors have supported me to this day, even when my next step wasn’t with the company.
My emotions felt like they were on a pendulum for the next couple of weeks - from excitement to nerves, from optimism to pessimism, from empowerment to doubt. Luckily I was 90% on the positive swing. The following steps were fairly crucial in helping me stay that way:
Take some time - I didn’t know exactly what came next but I knew I needed some time to think. If you can afford to work part time or take some time completely off, then I can’t recommend this enough. Time and space help you make good decisions.
Start somewhere - I committed to doing my coaching qualification and starting to do 1:1 coaching. It didn’t have to be “the thing” (although it did end up being the thing!) it was just a commitment to experimenting and trying something new. Learning felt amazing and it was something to focus on.
Get creative with your options - I made a long list of people that were doing work that I found interesting. I sent messages on Linkedin and asked if they could share their journey. Most people replied and it helped me to get inspired and be excited about the future.
Know your must haves - These could be financial goals, hours that you’re working, things in life you want time for. There are no right or wrong answers. I came up with these by writing down a list and checking that I had a clear why for each one. I knew I might not have all of these from day one, but knowing what I was working towards was anchoring (e.g. income potential mattered more to me than month one earnings).
Work with a coach - I don’t know whether I would have considered this transition if I didn’t work with an amazing coach who helped me break down what I wanted to do and how I could get there. If you can’t afford a coach, a close friend who will help you map out your options also works great.
Ask for help - I regularly asked questions to people that had more experience than me in certain areas. I didn’t let myself get stuck on something for days if I knew that someone in my network had already solved that problem - whether it was finding an accountant, setting up a pension, building a website.
Set holistic goals - I found it helpful to focus on what I was getting out of life rather than just out of work. I celebrated having a Tuesday off rather than worrying that I should be working. I celebrated not missing close friends and family members birthdays because I was too busy. I celebrated the extra adventures I was able to have.
Normalise the feelings that come with uncertainty - It really helped me to acknowledge that I would feel some doubt and fear whilst things were uncertain. I looked at situations in the past where I’d felt those feelings (moving to Canada, starting a new role, setting off on a hard climb) and that things had ended well. I constantly reminded myself that these were normal feelings and not warnings.
Today
Today I feel very positive about where I am vs 18 months ago. What I do now, feels right. I work fewer hours in the week but I find every hour I’m working is high quality and uses my brain. I do work that I find incredibly meaningful and I’m pushed out of my comfort zone everyday by the people I work with 1:1 or building out our programme from scratch.
It feels right, but there are still some parts of the transition I’m working through. The biggest one is that I often have to convince myself that I’m still ambitious. I can’t help but collate hours of work with ambition. It’s so drummed into me that long days and weeks are synonymous with ambition and high standards.
The belief I’m working towards is:
I’m still as ambitious as I was when I worked at Monzo, or at Intercom. For me - it’s a different type of ambition. It’s not just about the hours of work but the quality of all the hours in my day. I’m ambitious about having a fulfilling and values led life. That ambition includes feeling connected to the people around me, having time for adventures and fun and feeling calm more than I feel frazzled.
Paying it forward
If anyone is going through their own transition, I’d love to hear your experience. And please let me know if I can help support you going through yours - by answering questions or sharing my experience in more detail. I had people share their experiences so generously and I’d love to pay that forward.
Thanks for reading ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. As as aspiring CPO/VP, it’s really valuable hearing from those transitioning into/out of the role.